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Rant from a Mariner

marinermick

Well-Known Member
Now Im as optimistic as anyone when it comes to this twt of a football club, but after this afternoons latest capitulation its time to wake up and smell the coffee were fcked. Down. Goners. Non-league. To be honest I didnt know how it would affect me, its not like it hasnt been coming, but tonight I just feel absolutely deflated. Absolutely fcking devastated.

I cant get away from these emotions, I just want the whole world to just fck off and leave me alone. To help me come to terms with this whole mess, Ive decided to compile a list of everyone and everything I want to fck off most of all.

For starters, work can fck off. If they think Im going to be there on Monday morning theyve got another thing coming. No way am I going in to spend time dealing with cnts that I can barely stand being with when Im in a good mood, let alone this crushing feeling of anger, frustration and outright metaphorical-kicked-in-the-bllocks-ness.

Plastic Premier League fans can fck off. I just spoke to my scum United supporting neighbour (who incidentally, has been to Old Trafford before twice) about Towns predicament. You know what he said? I know how you feel; its like when we failed to win a trophy in 95. NO IT FCKING WELL IS NOT!

He no longer has a face.

The girlfriend can definitely fck off. Her best attempt at consolation I dont know why youre bothered; you knew they were sht anyway. Yes love, but theyre MY sht team. Theyve been MINE for pretty much as long as Ive been able to wipe my own rse, and theyll be MINE for as long as Im alive (or at least, until Im no longer able to wipe my own rse). Truth is, watching my team win does things for me that no woman can. If push comes to shove and Im horny, I can always have a wnk.

Barrow can fck off. Ive been all over the country and beyond to watch my team, but frankly I just dont have the stomach to visit any town which makes Sc**thorpe look like fcking St. Tropez.

Dad, you can fck off. This is your fault. Your idea. You introduced me to this shower of sht. Come with me to Blundell Park, you said, Come and support the boys. What could I do? I was fcking four, what choice did I have? Why not get me hooked on Heroin whilst you were at it? I could have gone with mum shopping for bras and knickers at British Home Stores, but no, you knew best.

Granted, Id have probably grown up a homosexual but surely even being simultaneously bggered two guys named Seth and Quentin couldnt hurt like this.

Seeing as were on the subject of homosexuality, Gok Wan can fck off. No particular reason, I just plain dont like the annoying, goggle-eyed cnt.

The F.A. can fck off. Not for supplying us, week-in, week- out, with inept referee after inept referee, but for imposing sensible financial rules on all clubs in League Two. How many clubs in this division have been into administration this season? Not one. How many points deducted? Not one. How the fck else are we supposed to avoid relegation footballing merit? We didnt have to last season, so why spoil the fun now?

The World Cup can fck off I dont care anymore.

My local pizza shop can fck off. I ordered a 12 Pepperoni over an hour ago, and where the fck is it? Are they trying to fcking fly it to me or something?

Sky Sports can fck off. Nothing personal, but therell be little need for me next season with no Town to be found anywhere. Ooh, Bolton versus Wolves, LIVE. I think Ill pass...

The radio can fck off. On my way home from the match, whilst driving down the M180, I caught three completely separate stations playing Down by Jay Sean at the exact same fcking time. The songs the best part of a year old, how the fck does that happen by coincidence!?

My nans old lucky Buddha that used to sit in her front room can fck off. When I was a kid I held it in my hands and wished for Town to be in the Premier League. I meant the proper one you fat cnt, not the one occupied by Histon, Eastbourne and for fcks sake, Ebbsfleet, wherever that is.

Tonight can fck off. Ive had enough of trying to cope with my emotions; the time has come for oblivion. I havent kept any booze in the house since an occasion known only as That Night by myself and the missus, but suffice to say that the toilet duck and luminous blue mouthwash are looking like stronger propositions by the minute.

Most of all though, the last 10 years can fck off. In that time Ive watched my team fall from the top of the Championship into non-league nothingness. Weve gone from one great big fck up to the next without even coming up for air, and today is just the big, fck off cherry on top.

One thing Im sure of though is that we WILL be back. When it comes down to it, a football club is basically just a set of supporters, and frankly what Ive learned in the last few years is that this one has some of the best. Weve had to put up with some sht, havent we boys, but in e of all of that the future is still bright its fcking black and white.

Grimsby til I die...
 

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